In each edition of The Dartmouth, cartoonists Paul Heintz ’06 and Kevin Pedersen ’05 attempt to amuse readers with their own distinct styles of comic creation. Heintz’s comic strip Guy and Fellow and Pedersen’s Roomies illustrate aspects of campus life in manners so markedly dissimilar that each cartoonist has established his own following among Dartmouth students. A delightful byproduct of this Guy and Fellow-Roomies rivalry is that, depending on which comic strip you prefer, anyone can deduce with great accuracy exactly what kind of person you are. And since your comic strip affiliation has such huge personality implications, it is important to understand what kind of message each sends to peers and professors.

So which is it? Are you a Roomies buff or a Guy and Fellow fanatic? And, what does it all mean?

To begin, Heintz’s Guy and Fellow stars two badly drawn stick-figure Dartmouth students named Guy and Fellow. Each Guy and Fellow comic strip appears to have been completed in about two minutes (although Heintz insists that sometimes they can take up to eight minutes to draw). The borders are crooked, the writing is barely legible, and the characters lack the realistic panache of your average Renaissance-era portrait. They are stick figures, after all.

Pedersen’s Roomies, on the other hand, is carefully detailed and resembles a professional comic strip in design and execution. The lines are neat. The characters are realistically drawn—well, at least for cartoon characters. Roomies is tidy, neat, pretty, and sweet.

So does this mean that if you prefer Guy and Fellow to Roomies you’re a lazy, unkempt nonconformist? It’s possible, I suppose. However, looks can be deceptive, and each comic strip begs further investigation beyond initial appearances.

The fact of the matter is that if you prefer Roomies to Guy and Fellow, you’re either not paying close enough attention, or you’re an anal-retentive monotony mongrel. Roomies might be pretty, but Guy and Fellow is manifest comic genius.

Heintz’s content, when not focused on bizarre and slightly ridiculous topics, is at once self-deprecating and arrogantly assertive of its superiority over its rival. His cartoons often make fun of their sloppy appearance and lack of reasonable premise, but in a charming manner that reminds the keenest comic-reader of that weird, funny kid who makes you laugh without even trying. Pedersen, on the other hand, tries very hard. It’s obvious in the careful artistry and copious verbiage he uses in each frame that he must sweat, toil, brainstorm and sketch for hours (Pedersen was unavailable for comment, probably because he was busy drawing tomorrow’s cartoon). His comics are mildly amusing to the extent that they make a reader grin and groan. They are formulaic and cute. But really, now, you can get the same effect from a common Garfield cartoon.

Alexis Jolly ’05, avid Guy and Fellow supporter and member of thefacebook.com’s The Official Guy and Fellow Fan Club, clearly articulated his professional opinion about the difference between the two cartoons. “I believe Guy and Fellow takes a far more nuanced approach in exploring the intersection of liberal ideology and poop jokes, while Roomies seems to be more concerned with being consistently unfunny.”

Although he agreed with Jolly’s comments, Heintz maintained that there is “more to Guy and Fellow than poop jokes.” Heintz said that he addresses both the important and trivial issues that are underrepresented on campus without being cliché. He prefers to utilize “shock value,” especially in the last frame of his comic, while he feels that Pedersen opts for the more “predictable punch lines.” (Again, Pedersen was unavailable for comment.)

That being said, it should hardly come as a surprise that Guy and Fellow aficionados are insightful and thoughtful individuals with fabulous senses of humor. They make the best friends and are just buckets of fun. On the other hand, Roomies fans are probably nice… nice and boring.

So remember this advice the next time you’re perusing The Dartmouth in public. Your choice in comic strip reflects your personality, and with one glance over your shoulder, anyone can see into the depths of your soul. Anyone.