Let me preface this article by saying that I am not a very “fratty” person. I have nothing against our Greek brothers and sisters; but as a committed teetotaler, sexually abstinent teen, and non-dancer (fun fact: I have a bent spine!), I often don’t agree with, or am unable to participate in, many of the things that I am told take place in fraternities, sororities, and co-educational houses. So when I learned that the Independent Article-Assigning Magic 8-Ball had chosen me to investigate and contrast the slang of different Greek houses here on campus, I was understandably hesitant.

But in the same spirit of bold inquiry that made Alexander Fleming a great scientist (if not a great cook—eww, moldy penicillin bread!), I made a commitment to investigate the way my Greek colleagues use language here at Dartmouth. In addition to conducting personal interviews with Greek-affiliated friends, I sent out a “Blitz” e-mail to all the houses on campus, asking them for slang terms that were specific to their particular houses. The resultant data fell into four primary categories: drinking terms, approval terms, disapproval terms and exhortations, and miscellany. The list is by no means complete. Houses wishing to add to the list can send me a Blitz e-mail with succinct definitions and usage notes for their words or phrases. If I receive enough entries, I will eventually publish a full-length Greek dictionary, available in handsome leather-bound hardback. If not, well, we will see.

Drinking
(Special note: many drinking terms, such as “dome,” “shrub,” and “rage,” are so common to campus that including them as particular house slang would be unscientific.)

dummy: v. Identified at Alpha Delta. To “dummy” something is to drink it. “General Lee, Sir, the Union army is approaching! Dummy your mint julep and let us join the fray!” Also see entry under “Disapproval”

ubangi: v. Identified at Sigma Nu. “To do a ubangi” is to hang upside down from a pipe and drink a cup of beer by stuffing it into your mouth and curling your body upwards. “No, Professor Fuller, I don’t want to do a ubangi. Thank you for asking.”

Approval
agreed: excl. Identified at Sigma Delta. A succinct expression of agreement or approval. “Renewable-energy research is the only way to make our nation’s energy consumption legit in the long run.” “Agreed.”

bap: excl. Identified at Alpha Delta. “I approve!” “The USA, swayed by international pressure, has decided to temper its unilateralist foreign policy with a multilateral approach.” “Bap!”

legit: adj. Identified at Sigma Delta. Abbreviation of “legitimate.” Possible urban-culture overtones. “This new Will Smith CD is legit!”

rage-a-saur: n. Identified at Psi Upsilon. Someone who rages a great deal might earn the title “rage-a-saur.” “Nelson Mandela is a rage-a-saur!”

sickies: adj. Identified at Alpha Delta. Very good. “This history of Western civilization by Will and Ariel Durant is sickies!”

snaps: excl. Identified at Sigma Phi Epsilon. Indicative of approval. Often accompanied by finger snaps. “The dollar is rising against the Euro? Snaps to that!”

Disapproval/Exhortations
buck up: v. Identified at Sigma Delta. Issued as a command: “Buck up, friend[s]!” Similar meaning to “get your water back,” and “sack up”; a gentler term, however. One of the few entries from a sorority, which may explain its lack of references to genitalia and body functions. “Oh, Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason didn’t win Best Picture? Well, buck up, friends!”

dogfight: n. Identified at Sigma Nu. When two unattractive people simultaneously make a pass at the same person. “Presidents Taft and Wilson are hitting on Eleanor Roosevelt next to the pong table. It’s a real dogfight.”

dummied: v. Identified at Sigma Phi Epsilon. “To get dummied” is to be made a fool of. “Hey anti-evolutionists in the Scopes Trial: you got dummied!”

four: n. Identified at Sigma Nu. A mild expletive named after a particularly whiny graduating class. “Professor Baimbridge, quit being such a four!”

get [one’s] water back: v. Identified at Alpha Delta. To “get it back together.” Issued as a command: “Russia, I’m sorry your political system collapsed and you lost the Cold War. Now get your water back.”

hoss: n. Identified at Sigma Nu. Mildly insulting pronoun, equivalent to “you.” “Hey, hoss, when are you going to realize that your hiding behind a veil of ‘postmodernism’ simply accentuates the fact that you have nothing new to say?”

nance: n. Identified at Sigma Nu. Short for “nancy boy.” “Rembrandt is such a nance.”

sack up: v. Identified at Alpha Delta. Very similar to “get your water back,” but an oblique reference to the testicles rather than to urination. “Hey, post–Napoleonic France- sack up!”

Miscellany
balls-deep: adj. Identified at Alpha Delta. Meaning still unclear at press time.

rig: n., v. Identified at Phi Delta Alpha. An entity or concept, an action that could be performed by, on, with or because of that entity or concept, or Phi Delta Alpha itself. “This rig could very well prove to rig, Mister Prime Minister.”

I found these data incredibly interesting. In addition to learning about the similarities and differences between Dartmouth’s Greek houses, I began to get a picture of Dartmouth’s Greek system in general. It is, apparently, a system in which alcohol consumption has a profound influence, in which approval and disapproval are expressed in diverse and creative ways, and in which sexuality and reproductive biology are freely (if crudely) discussed. The Greeks’ lack of slang terms for things like intellectual growth, marital fidelity and prudent decision-making eventually began to bother me, but I was nevertheless struck by its vibrancy and diversity. Each house is, in effect, its own culture, with unique phraseologies and concepts that other houses, although geographically very close, do not share in. I find this fascinating. Someday soon—perhaps this “Green Key” weekend—I will leave my preconceptions and biases at the door and attempt to experience the Greek system firsthand.

Well, thank you for reading this rig. I hope it has been as sickies for you as it has for me.