Much of American college culture revolves around the enjoyment of the irresponsible. Students at Dartmouth are no different; rather, some might argue, we’re even more egregious in our recklessness. We often reference the wasteful and damaging fiascoes that result from binge-drinking, yet we do so in a flippant manner, retelling the situations as if the I-was-so-wasted-that-I-did-this-totally-stupid-thing stories are hilarious instead of troublesome and indicative of blossoming alcoholism.

But our temerity doesn’t end with drinking—there is also a pervasive “Robin Hood” ethic throughout college campuses, in which stealing is okay as long as it from a faceless entity or person who can afford to absorb the minimal losses. The classic example of this at Dartmouth is stealing silverware from Food Court, an activity that almost everyone has done, and that practically no one considers harmful. Well, as TDI writer Kapil Kale showed us, it costs the college $40,000 a year to replace all the stolen silverware. Our actions affect others more than we think…

Is our culture of fascination with drunken ridiculousness and irresponsibility a problem specific to higher education, or even to Dartmouth itself? Perhaps not, but consider this: do Dartmouth's student regulations and policies shield us from what would be the “real world” consequences of our actions? The answer to the last question is a resounding “Yes,” in terms of official college policy and actual regulation.

Which brings us to the Committee on Standards. If you mention the COS in a conversation, you might get responses ranging from, “Oh, dude, I hate the COS” to “COS? Is that, like, a drinking game or something?” For those of you in the latter group, the Committee on Standards is Dartmouth’s judicial body that hears and tries most cases of student infringement of Dartmouth’s rules (as outlined in the student handbook). We have all heard stories of these—cases of plagiarism, for example, and the resultant “Parkhursting” for as many as four terms or more.

But why is the COS relevant? There are two reasons, one being the limited penalties that it can impose, and the other being what it does, in practice, impose for traditional offenses as a general trend. Before continuing, however, do note that every single case the COS hears is tremendously complicated and almost never “general” in any sense.

We can categorize the common cases of breaking the rules into infringements involving intoxication, honor code violations, property damage/theft, and sexual assault. Many students debate these issues, arguing over the classification of rape or cheating, and what the repercussions for such offenses should be. However Dartmouth students feel about these crimes (that is what they are), though, the maximum punishments for the above violations of Dartmouth policy are nowhere close to what they would be in the greater American society.

For example, if you break or steal something from a restaurant and are caught, you either pay for it, or you are sued and go to jail. At Dartmouth, you might get Parkhursted, assuming that your fellow students don't have to chip in to pay for it on your obnoxious behalf. If you rape someone and are found guilty in court, you go to jail and spend the next few months or years trying your darndest not to drop the soap. At Dartmouth, in all but the most clear-cut cases, you simply take a break from school for a year, if that.

Admittedly, there are many scenarios where this discussion is irrelevant. Most of us will not have time to drink three or four nights a week with full-time jobs, and therefore Dartmouth alcohol use doesn’t generally translate to “real world” alcohol use. Furthermore, most of us will hopefully not have to deal with our roommates vomiting and urinating all over our stuff during party weekends. But regardless of those special situations, people will still hate men and women who inconvenience others with their laziness and stupidity, if not outright violations of the law. Why should even more heinous offenses be tolerated at college with minimal derision or penalty?

The entire discussion may seem irrelevant or accusatory, but consider the following: what if Dartmouth did not have its beloved three-strike rule for public intoxication? What if S&S automatically turned all lawbreakers over to H-PO, and, thus, jail? Some of us might have quite long explanations to give to prospective employers.

Dartmouth's students and administrators need to realize that we have no right whatsoever to boot in public places, steal anything, or take advantage of others under the auspices of alcohol just because we're in college. In reality, the College treats us as kids, giving us slaps on the wrist for breaking the rules, and hiding what we do from the rest of the world. Think about it: we are nothing but little kids to Dear Old Dartmouth, and that is the saddest thing of all.