Boone’s Farm at 10, blunts at noon, pong at 2, shots at 8, then some lines and it’s time to go out. You’re in college, this is Green Key Saturday, and you have a full day in front of you. Sow those wild oats.

Here at our College on a Hill, safe from the more sobering aspects of reality, we have a comfortable place to do exactly that. Here we can experiment with drugs, partners, and positions, be they political or sexual. Here we can embrace lives of excess along with 4000 of our closest friends. But in this sphere of lax norms and ambiguous boundaries, where do we draw the line? When does our relationship with substances shift – in the words of Nichola A. Tucker, author of an insightful article in the latest DFP – from “Fun” to “Fucked Up?” And what happens if it does? Can we rage without Keystone? In short, what does sobriety at Dartmouth feel like?

This issue is dealt with by a surprising number of Dartmouth partygoers. To understand their experiences, we must go further than denouncing the campus’ lack of sober spaces or social alternatives. We need to hear, in their words, why they lost control of their use, how they got clean, and what they experience now as sober members of the Big Green scene. And so, if Green Key was our weekend of excess, let this be our week of detox and self-reflection.

Feeling Good but Falling Down

In the world of Tree, Black Forest and the three-game series, defining substance abuse is inherently difficult. “In my experience,” says Bryant Ford, PhD, a counselor in his seventh year at Dick’s House who specializes in substance abuse issues, “the word ‘problem’ raises hairs on a student’s back. It’s an ambiguous term at Dartmouth, and the first thing I do when meeting with a student is sit down and operationally define it. Only then can we have a constructive dialogue.”

Dr. Ford also sees many students functioning while abusing substances. These individuals often use their GPAs as an indicator of overall well-being, reasoning that a drinking or drug problem can’t exist if schoolwork is getting done. “I’ve seen students whose health, relationships, and personal interests have been destroyed by their drinking, but because they were keeping a solid GPA, they were able to rationalize away their behavior.” Students can arm themselves with a multitude of these barometers – academics, athletics, service groups, internships – thus insulating themselves from criticism. But those shields are only needed when peer concern exists. The college lifestyle, and its relationship with drinking, naturally minimizes the occurrences of this criticism.

Admittedly, the campus climate puts a perverse emphasis on drinking – particularly excessive drinking – like many college campuses. So when an anonymous sober ‘08 (Thomas, for ease) points out that “so much of who you are, and your status, is determined by how much you drink,” we shouldn’t be surprised. But while this oft-recited truth is merely boring to many, it takes on daunting dimensions for those struggling with a substance abuse problem and represents one of many hurdles over which they must climb. “People definitely treat you different if you’re honest with them,” Thomas says, “I’ve had girls approach me and flat out tell me ‘You’re boring now!’ Some of my friends actively tried to get me to drink. That really just depresses me.”

Getting sober, we are told, is a challenge physically, emotionally, and socially. But for those who choose to battle against a dependency, the College offers many supports.

Getting Help

While the process of going sober varies with each individual, it usually includes both internal and external motivations. Unfortunately, the former is more successful but less typical than the latter; Dr. Ford estimates that “most” of the students he sees have been mandated by the College or the courts. Many of those students do not seek sustained lifestyle changes. But for those who have recognized their own problem independently, or with the help of a close friend, there exist many options for support.

If a student has a goal of sobriety, Dartmouth has numerous avenues capable of getting him there. Beyond the campus Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, the College offers a handful of other approaches. “Choices” is a student group facilitated by Dr. Ford and Anna Meyerrose, a counselor specializing in addictions, that pursues abstinence through introspective exploration of students’ “relationship with alcohol and other drugs.” The Counseling and Human Development Office, located on the second floor of Dick’s House, offers psychologists and psychiatrists to those who may wish to approach their substance abuse from the angle of mental health. The Social Norms Campaign – distributing Nalgenes and posters highlighting normal alcohol use on campus – is an awareness program coordinated by the Alcohol and Other Drug Education Office. Drug Abuse Peer Advisors (DAPAs) also serve an important role on campus as educated mentors within the party scene. This program is founded upon advisors who understand, rather than vilify, the use of controlled substances. “We need our DAPAs to go out, to drink and to be a part of the scene, because they’re only effective if they can empathize with the student who seeks them out,” says Travis Green, SA President-Elect.

If, however, on-campus treatment is unrealistic, a student may opt for a medical leave, in which he or she can seek rehabilitation and a few months of sobriety before rejoining the College. “My Dean, and the administration in general, was very supportive when I needed to take a medical leave,” recounts Joe, a second anonymous ‘08, “The process was as streamlined as possible, and the College made an effort to stay in contact with me throughout the three terms I was off. I know that this sounds like a commercial for Dartmouth, but they really did make a painful experience a bit easier.”

Drinking Water in a Toga

Students who go sober usually experience a “pink cloud” of elation for the first few weeks. In their new sobriety, many students claim to feel energized and proud of their agency over alcohol or drugs. Their health usually improves, as they no longer experience the hangovers, late-night food binge, or the wheezy lungs that often accompany substance abuse. Some feel more productive. Others are able to save money once used to support their habit. But, like those in nature, this pink cloud ultimately dissipates. “I’ve found that successful students recognize that sobriety doesn’t improve life automatically,” Dr. Ford says, “After the initial feeling has worn off, a student needs to learn new social skills outside the realm of alcohol and drugs. That is often difficult or uncomfortable.” Just how difficult? Very, say Thomas and Joe. “Wearing a toga and drinking water was pretty weird,” Joe confesses as he talks about a recent party. “There is definitely a divide between sober and drunk people in the basement.” Thomas agrees. “Being sober at a party is OK for a while, but soon, as people drink more and more, you start to feel alienated.” This schism isn’t simple. According to Dr. Ford, many sober students are worried that their using peers will feel judged in the presence of an abstainer. “I can’t help but feel that way,” says an 07 who often uses around his sober friend. “Even if he isn’t viewing me any differently, I often feel like he must – on some level. That’s probably my creation rather than his, though.”

If the sober student needs to relearn general social skills, the specific interactions with the opposite sex can be especially difficult. Most students interviewed were happy with the decreased post-hookup awkwardness derived from stone-sober decision making. Plus, the tempo and significance of relationships can be carefully monitored without the impetuous physical contact of late night, drunken hook-ups. There are, however, some drawbacks to going sober, particularly as a male. “I find myself becoming hypersensitive to how much a girl is drinking,” says Joe. “If she gets tipsy, I feel sketchy pursuing her, and stop. Granted, this isn’t too big of a deal, but because most people drink on party nights, opportunities to flirt with girls in a party atmosphere are somewhat limited.” While college students are resilient and creative when it comes to flirting, a more serious concern to the sober student is his sudden shift in friends.

That the Greek system dominates the social spaces on campus is hardly debatable (see Michael R. Murov’s article on campus social spaces). But what does that mean to a sober student? Often, his move away from drinking scenes results in a move away from his group of friends. As Thomas claims, “You can tell yourself that you’ll go to Hop performances or watch movies on a party night, but the truth is, if you want to change your lifestyle here, you really need to change your friends.” This, Dr. Ford adds, is sometimes the most difficult aspect of sobriety for students. “Addiction is a relapsing disease, so a student may need to avoid relapse-prone environments. That’s a major adjustment – how are you going to meet your social needs outside of the old ways of socializing?” Thomas can relate; he suffered from an “identity crisis” when he removed alcohol from his life and still struggles to recreate his social circles and himself.

Reevaluating Our Rage

So, what’s the point? Many of us on campus who have woken up without a phone or a single memory from the night before – but with a pool of cold vomit and an insincere vow of eternal abstinence – seem to be happy, healthy college kids. The idea of questioning our relationship with alcohol is unsettling, perhaps agitating. But might it be appropriate? “I know college is a drinking haven,” Dr. Ford explains, “but while some students can stop their abuse after college, others can’t.” If we do find ourselves wanting to modify our lifestyles, Dartmouth makes it easy with an intricate support network.

And that support network can always improve. As Tucker asserts, the sober population on campus deserves a realistic middle-ground between BG Cutters and Brace Commons movie night. We can start with mandatory house DAPAs, permanent beverage alternatives in the basements, and a cultivation of semi-dry (but not semi-lame) party atmospheres in student centers and on the first floor of Greek houses.

The campus is not overrun with alcoholics, this article is not an accusation, and the sky is not falling. However, we have in this post-Green Key period an opportunity to consider our own relationship with alcohol and drugs and with those who choose not to use them. Because no matter how protected we feel here, across the river and behind a bulwark of pines, we owe it to ourselves and our friends to live and use healthily.