For a while now, I've had a sneaking suspicion that my significant other has been cheating on me.

Number one: she started taking long nights out at the nearby Memorial Park and wouldn't tell me why she was going. When I asked her why she needed to go, she just shrugged. Now, every night is a “long night” out.

Number two: I'd often overhear her talking on the phone in a very flirtatious voice and giggling like a schoolgirl-being-chased-by-that-one-boy-that-she-likes-but-doesn’t-want-to-admit. One time, she even said "Yabba-dabba doo" on the phone, which is kind of our thing (I like to pretend she's Fred Flintstone. don't ask). Needless to say, I feel betrayed. These conversations last around four hours, and she always on the phone when she thinks I'm not listening or too busy to listen in.

Number three: she doesn't ever look me in the eye, and I can tell she’s lying to me. One time, I tried to hug her and she didn’t hug me back.

Number four: I tried confronting her about where she was going during these “long nights.” She said she was meeting up with a friend she hadn't seen in a long time and that their relationship was strictly platonic.

Given the evidence, I finally decided to check on her one night that she said she was going to Memorial Park. I planned it all out - I would spy on her just to make sure I knew where she was going. After all, I didn't want her getting in trouble or anything.

As she left the house, I snuck around through the backdoor trying to make as little noise as possible. She didn't notice me and kept on walking. I crawled slowly behind the trash can and sure enough, I heard another man's voice. My heart was broken.

I ninja rolled to the side of my car to get a closer look at the guy. From behind my car, I noticed not only that my girlfriend was making out with the guy with deep, long, totally-not-platonic kisses, but also that my car had a lot of damage, wear, and tear.

So my big question is: should I get my car repainted? 

Photo by Jeeefer